It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
