Sponge bath it is.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize