his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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