Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
