David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
