her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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