oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
