Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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