so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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