you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
