my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize