are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
