If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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