You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
