So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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