Already got asked if we're dating
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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