i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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