Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
