i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
