Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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