if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
