Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize