That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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