Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
