It's Friday. Sex?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
