i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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