that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
