I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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