Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
