That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
