He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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