Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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