Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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