where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
