Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You are the jesus of drinking
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
A bitchslap is in order.
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