i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
