This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize