whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
