her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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