make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
