let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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