Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
