You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So gin and wine won't be happening again
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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