I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
