Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
