Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
