Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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