8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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