so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize