Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
