Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
