they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
