That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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