i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
