I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
