Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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