i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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