he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
